Tuesday, December 11, 2012

20s Reflection

Did my 30th birthday post feel a little anti-climactic? Well, it certainly felt rather anti-climactic. It is a milestone birthday, after all, but it's not like a loud siren goes off in the sky alerting the world to your new decade of life, loud and obnoxious like you're a goalie who let a puck through for the hometeam. And thank God for that, right?

So I'm 30. I adjusted to that imminent reality all year, mostly I think through this blog. I really faced it head on and owned it, so no emotional crisis for me, no worries or concerns, no lamenting over my 20s.

I mean, I made good use of them. I did so much, learned a ton and made major life decisions I'm happy about. I lived in all sorts of different places, with friends, students, alone, boyfriends and now a husband. I dumped and was dumped in significant relationships. I travelled around the country and abroad and explored alone and with others, and also did the resort thing and relaxed.

I nurtured friendships as well as made new ones, did life modelling, beaded jewellery, finished college, got a good job, saw my childhood pets through their senior years and adopted new kitties. I've avoided going into debt and I've acquired proper adult furniture and have some decent savings. I got married, had the wedding I dreamed of and was on reality TV.

I have new boundaries with my father, healthier boundaries that allow me to stay mentally well. I got therapy to work through it all and regained my confidence. I learned to belly dance and have managed to stay in shape for most of my 20s, either through dance, the gym, and even a stint of Tai Chi.

I learned a lot about myself emotionally, and also indulged in pretty clothes and spa treatments. I learned how to feed my soul emotionally, spiritually and intellectually while also finding room to give into guilty pleasures. I let go of the Catholicism I grew up with and developed my own ever-evolving beliefs and ideas about life and the world. I've been intellectually curious.

I'm really pleased with my 20s. They were worthwhile and well spent. I concluded them by getting pregnant and will usher in my 30s with a new wave of life experiences and responsibility. When I look at where I am now and how far I've come over the past 10 years, it strikes me how slow and yet steady I've grown as a person and as a woman.

Dude, I'm a fucking grownup.

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