Thursday, February 18, 2010

Coulda shoulda oughta

The watching of the Olympics continues. It's getting a little out of hand. (**side note, I did not know there was a luge with two people lying on top of one another. The hell?**) But tonight I took the time away to go to dance. I tried a new class tonight called "Just Dance". Supposedly an all-levels class. Sounds fun, right? If realizing how little you know and how crap you are compared to a real pro is fun, then I had a night of total awesomeness.

No, no, I've never been under any illusion that I'm a magnificent dancer. I'm not angling to go pro. I just want to dance and have fun. But man, if there is anything that kills the buzz it's trying to keep up with a highly advanced dancer as she rocks every move she knows in quick succession while you in your novice glory pull off something resembling a weak jig alongside her. I dunno. If you can't participate, it's less enjoyable. She was pulling out moves I'd never seen before, never mind learned.

So back to structured classes for my skill level. There's another gala coming up in June. It'd be nice if this time I had a flatter stomach for it, but I'm not holding my breath (or doing extra sit-ups or cutting back on ice cream or anything that might lead to said flatter stomach, so never mind).

I've begun to really think more about how I'm going to age. I'm not flexible. Never have been. I have this fear I'm going to become this old rickety fart who pulls out her back while she's bending over to do up her velcro shoes. And I fear this will happen when I'm 40 instead of 70.

Sometimes I don't feel young. Like when I can't stretch properly, or when I think my bowed legs are getting more pronounced, or when a night of casual drinking makes me feel haggard and feeble.

I suppose comparing yourself to anyone is going to lead to unhappiness. And watching myself flounder so foolishly beside someone very beautiful and accomplished tonight, who was about my age, was a bummer.

I'm also on my moon time. I love being able to excuse wimpy feelings on hormones and wimens problems. At least then when you feel down on yourself, you don't have to feel totally responsible for it.

I should take up yoga.

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