Nosy bout the monies

I hate money.

Actually, no, I do enjoy having monies. Having the monies means being able to pay rent and buy new dresses and feed my cat. But I hate it. I hate the concept of it, saving it, budgeting it, managing it, thinking about it and paying things off.

Oh, it's satisfying to pay shit off. And it's a comfort to be able to do so. And I'm too meticulous and paranoid a person to ever not closely manage my finances. And the Dude's finances (this is his wish, so no I'm not diving through his personal accounts and taking over).

It just effing sucks. When I was 22 I was making much less. I also barely saved my money. I just spent what I earned, no more, no less. Now I'm thinking about retirement savings. R-fucking-SPs. I'm also thinking about future home ownership. I have a downpayment, but blargh if prices on homes in the city don't seem to go up, up, up.

I'm not drowning in debt. I don't actually have any debt. Again, I'm too anxious to incur any. I find myself increasingly curious about other people's finances. I don't ask, but I burn to know. Are they house poor? Are they putting away 10% of their income? What are their mortgage payments and property taxes? How much was that wedding or vacation?

It's sometimes a shock to learn the answers. Actually, it's always a shock. Every now and then I'll be revealed a tidbit of info about someone's finances and I'll wonder either how they can live with themselves or how they managed such awesomeness. I wanna be awesome too.

Being awesome used to require cute shoes and a cool haircut. Adulthood has totally upped the ante. Fucking retirement, house downpayment, emergency fund savings. Le sigh.