Monday, July 25, 2011

Woe is Them

I'm loving Retro Camera, which means I'm loving having a smart phone. I also love Angry Birds. Ah, technology. I resist for so long, then give in randomly and fall in love. Resistance is futile.

Here's some wedding prep shots (Which I didn't intend to shoot in black and white, but oh well) I've taken of some of the things I've had delivered:

From Etsy.
The wood has been stylistically burned on one side.

These are my seating tags. Plan is to paint the untreated side of the wood with chalkboard paint. Then with a chalk marker, write the name on the rectangle and the table number on the circle. I'll tie them together with something fun and charming.

Distressed wood, mini chalkboard.
Cat not included.

Here is a sample of my table numbers, also chalkboard. Bea jumped into the picture, which conveniently gives a measure of reference for just how small and cute they are.

I didn't set out looking for chalkboard; it just sort of happened. And it's thanks to the internet and Etsy. Because of the ease of online shopping, review reading and idea gathering, wedding planning has been ridiculously easy and very pleasurable. Brides used to have to travel from store to store looking for things, comparing costs and were limited by their time and locations. Not I, not in this day and age. Pishaw! The only wedding item/product I have gone into a store to buy is my dress.

I've gotten mostly good feedback from people when I've talked about my upcoming nuptials. You tell people or others mention it, and you receive a congratulations and then perhaps you show your ring and conversation shifts to some other topic of interest.

However, nothing shows you who has emotional baggage when it comes to weddings and marriage moreso than seeing a person's reaction to someone else's engagement. People who aren't interested in marriage, but are confident in their own life choices, will be warm and congratulatory; they understand that your decisions don't reflect on them. They're happy if you're happy.

But there are those out there who only claim to be disinterested, but who clearly are nursing some issues surrounding matrimony. And it can be uncomfortable to witness because it's your life event that's bringing it out in them. For instance:

At dance class a friend was inquiring about my wedding and I mentioned I went dress shopping and found one I could afford, though it was still a lot of money to pay. A woman overheard and thought I meant the costume dresses, and mentioned some were very affordable. I let her know that I was referring to buying a wedding dress.

Her response was quick and terse: "Oh, I don't believe in weddings. I never want to get married."

Well, alright. Most people would have said, "Oh, you're getting married? Congratulations." People who are blase about marriage still know not to rain on someone else's parade, but people who have issues with it revert the focus immediately to themselves and get a little hostile. Sometimes the lady doth protesteth too much.

Another instance, an acquaintance learned I was getting married and her only comment was a question: "How old are you?" "I'm 27." (Which I was at the time) "Oh... Well, that's okay then." Oh, is it? Good news. I almost thanked her for her approval, but decided better of it. Turns out this woman has some significant relationship issues and is going through a hard time. No need to call her out, though it reenforced my opinion about the source of her rudeness.

And recently, another acquaintance learned I was engaged and her reaction was to scoff at weddings and complain about her Facebook newsfeed having nothing but marriage and baby news. No congratulations, no warm wishes, and several jabs about matrimony in general for the rest of the evening. And I barely know her. It was actually the most unpleasant out of the three.

For each of these ladies, I think they've been burned by love. I don't begrudge them their feelings, but there's something to be said for not publicly eating sour grapes over it. I don't need a fuss, but I don't terribly enjoy people I don't know well wrinkling their nose at my happiness.

Well, in three months, this era of life will be over. Funny thing, an engagement. Such a temporary state of affairs. And as much fun as it's been in many ways, I'm rather ready for it to come to a close.

1 comment:

  1. I think that there's more to it than emotional baggage. People who inevitably spin someone else's happy milestones into a reflection of their own misery are, by definition, selfish narcissists. :P